The Maniacal Ravings of a Desperate Man...: July 2011

Friday, July 29, 2011

You Ain't Gotta Lie...

Kickin' It…

I wanted to get with you

When we met way back when

You didn’t want anything serious

And said we could just “Kick It” then

You laid them all out

The rules by which we should abide

I wasn’t too thrilled at first

Cause they seemed to be tilted to your side

I didn’t rock the boat

Because you were so damn fine

It was so nice at first

We used to “Kick It” all the time

But one day I wanted to see you

But you said you couldn’t go

I wondered if there was something wrong

But you never let me know

You disappeared for awhile

You were out like a light

I tried to find out where you were

I searched with all my might

However the truth came out

You were “Kickin' It” with someone new

Said you wanted to do "Something Different”

And try stuff you never thought you’d do…

So I said “It’s cool”

It’s not like I had caught feelings

However why you stopped “Kickin' It” with me

Was way more shocking…

See your “Something New”

Was because you switched teams

Well let’s call it a "Tryout"

But you know what I mean

The other day you came back

Wanting to “Kick It" again

But I said “No Thank You”

I’ve got no time to fit you in

See I’m busy now

“Kickin' It” with a new friend

I’m quite sure you know her

She’s practically your twin

The rules never stated

Who and what were out of bounds

So while you switched teams

I was taking your cousin down

Shouldn’t have told her about me

And the “Talents” I occupy

She’s not bi-curious like you

She’s only into guys

So stay on the other team

With her I’m going in….

Used to give you about Eight,

But I’m giving her Ten…

Awww don’t be like that…

Oh now you want to throw a fit

But you can’t be upset....Remember?

We were only just “Kickin' It”

After Dark...

2:17 AM

“You already know…”

My phone is blowing up…

It’s 2:17 in the morning

At least 14 messages now…

I should be asleep snoring

But she keeps on trying

Calling and sexting my phone

My mind knows I shouldn’t answer

But my body doesn’t want to be alone

OMG that last text

You wanna do WHAT to me????

Damn why’d you have to go and say that

You’ve piqued my curiosity….

I don’t wanna make that trip tonight

It’s at least 35 minutes across town

But if I do get up and go

We both know what’s going down

You got a room where???

You know I love the Embassy

You know you are so wrong

Why are you doing this to me?

Got me thinking now

It would be good to go and play

But if I do make that drive…

It can only turn out one way

Now don’t be shy

When I come to that door

Just let me in & let’s get down

You (already) know what I’m here for…

Thursday, July 28, 2011

2s....

All that B.S. is for the birds...

I’m sooo over it…

You’ve been a thorn in my side for too long

So I’m chucking you 2s

It’s time for me to move along…

We started off so good together

But now I’m letting you go

There’re lots of reasons for our break-up

Some only you & I know

With all the pleasure you brought

There was also much pain

But I’ve learned my lesson

I’m never F’ing with you again…

It feels good to let you go

No more drama or suspense

And if anyone asks what happened to us

I’ll refer to it in the past tense

I cannot allow

Your torment of me to continue

So I’m getting off this emotional rollercoaster

And changing the venue

You were never good for me,

Only gave me passing moments of pleasure

Those times were too brief

And the bad times were beyond measure

I told you I was leaving…

We weren’t meant to get along

I’m handing you walking papers

Time for you to get gone

It’s been a long time coming

You’ve been full of theatrics and carelessness

So goodbye 2010

DEUCES!!!! You won’t be missed!

Copyright GL21 12/28/2010

The Backup Plan...

Wrote this during the worst month of my life... Sometimes the most difficult and painful experiences are the best inspiration...

The Backup Plan…

“Hope for the best

And plan for the worst…”

Has always been my mantra

But this is a first…

I got caught slipping

Trying to stay in my lane

Thought that everything was perfect

Now I know things won’t ever be the same

I was living in the Matrix

With no idea that the real world existed

You gave me a choice red or blue

I guess that blue pill should have been ingested

Now I’m lost in the real world

Seeing what is really going on

Don’t know what to do with myself

Since my fantasy world is long gone

Never thought this day would happen

Never thought this could be

I built my world around my beliefs

Which were based on lies You told me

So now my world is shattered

And You were so quick to move on

I’m left with all the broken pieces

Still not believing You are gone

So what am I to do now?

In my life YOU were the only constant

I never expected You not to be there

And forever change my life in an instant

I have to realize

As hard as it will be to do

But it seems You never loved me

The same way I loved You

Compromises, Concessions and Communication

Love means using those 3 C’s

I did all three for us

But You didn’t, I believe…

I’m always planning my life

I have backups to backup plans You see

However, now I realize my mistake

For You, there was never a Plan B….

Video pretty much sums it all up...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Award...

Here's a poem that sat unfinished for months.... However the ending finally came to me... Hope you enjoy it.

The Award

“Deception comes in many shapes, sizes & forms.”

You deserve some type of award…

You need recognition from the Academy…

For Your great performances over the years

‘Cause damn girl, You fooled me

I’d suggest an Emmy…

For Your role of comedienne

Our sit-com was ranked #1, because

Your performance made things look grand…

How about a Grammy…

Because, when we were together

You used to make beautiful music

For You, harmony was second nature…

Or maybe a Tony…

Your time on stage was infinite

You slipped seamlessly into different roles

For You, drama was innate

I’d give you an Oscar…

For best the Female Actress of 2010

Playing the role of the faithful mate…

I bet no one could have predicted this end

For over a decade

You played your part to perfection

Made me believe Your lies

It was the worst kind of deception

So many awards…

Too many to from which to decide

So when they call You to the stage

Don’t swell with too much pride…

Wait I got now…

The perfect award just came to me…

From the way You ran out on us

You deserve an Espy…

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Codependency in Five Parts... (The Tormented Series)

Both my brother and I write poetry... However our styles differ. I love his imagery and metaphoric style. He likes the blunt and direct nature of my poetry. I wrote the first poem in this set "Tormented". He liked it so much he decided to write "Possessed (beyond tormented)" as his attempted at a poem in my style. After he wrote that I wrote another and we went back and forth a la R. Kelly "Trapped in the Closet" style... So here's the entire set. Hope you enjoy it...

-GL21

The Complete Set
The Tormented Series
Codependency (In Five Parts)

A collection of poetry from GL21 & MB.

Tormented

My mind hates me...
This I don't know how to correct
It gives me constant reminders
Of things I wish to forget...

My body hates me...
This I know to be true
I've been constantly bombarded
By scars that remind me of you...

My soul hates me...
I've come to accept this fact
It keeps burning with old desires,
Trying to make me react...

My heart hates me...
This I wish to be a lie
It keeps longing to be with you,
Even if these feelings I wish to deny.

© GL21 2005

Possessed (beyond tormented)

You haunt my soul,
Every time I close my eyes
Your image appears
I'm into you more than I realize

Every corner of my mind
Your fragrance I cannot ignore
I pray for deliverance
Until then I'll crave you more

I was not supposed to
Be the one to fall so hard
I am totally consumed by you
I should have never let down my guard

You have my soul
My will is not my own
Try as I might to free myself
To you is who I belong

MB

Obsessed (Beyond Torment or Even Possession)

I must deny these feelings. . .
I cannot allow them to overtake my mind
If I lose this battle from within
My body will follow in kind.

I must cover these scars. . .
I cannot allow myself to recall
Past feelings and sensations
My soul will surely fall. . .

I must extinguish the fires. . .
No, maybe I can deal
With the way I daydream about you. . .
Self-inflicted scars take forever to heal.

I must allow myself this one chance. . .
I will try to break down this affliction.
But living with constant memories of you. . .
Always validates this very addiction.

You haunt my soul. . .
I know I've said it before.
But nothing I've said or done. . .
Will allow my heart to be ignored.

GL21 © 2005

Consumed

It was only one time
It wasn't even supposed to be
Now I cannot shake you
Craving you has taken over me

I try to deny my feeling
Wishing these urges for you would wane
I cannot bear to see you
It causes me too much pain

Why won't you release me?
Memories torment my soul
I'm possessed by an image
Some strange obsession has taken hold

I need your mercy
This cloud of memories looms
I wish I could walk away
Only once ---now I'm consumed

MB

Demented (after consumption…)

For me this has been
A yearning or feeling of torment...
Trying to understand why it shouldn't feel so good
Is the cause of my lament...

I've stated this many times before
You know, about the urges and feelings and pain...
But my obsession of having you in my possession,
Was driving me insane...

I believe the fault was mine
Thinking my thoughts were of the past...
But you and I both know
One night was all it would last...

So I cut myself that night
Nothing’s wrong with a little scar...
But who would have known
I would have gone this far...

Scars now haunt my soul
Consumed with being tormented...
And my obsession of having you in my possession,
Has left me demented…

Copyright © 2008 GL21

Fin