The Maniacal Ravings of a Desperate Man...: 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Question And Answer

Because "&" was such a fan favorite. I decided to write "?" (Question) and "!" (Answer) as sort of a before and after. Enjoy...

I look at You…

But You don’t look at me

I ask myself the question….

Am I missing out on my Destiny?

I talk with You…

But You aren’t feeling me

I ask myself the question….

Am I missing a perfect Opportunity?

I reach for You….

But You don’t respond to me

I ask myself the question…

Am I being too Pushy?

I feel pain from You…

But You deny help from me

I ask myself the question…

Am I able to leave You Be?

I reach for You (again)…

And now You take my hand

So I ask You the question…

Could You see me being Your Man?

I talk to You (again)…

And now You communicate

So I ask You the question…

Could You believe in Fate?

I look at You (again)…

And now You stare at me

So I ask myself a final question….

Could You love what You See?

We touch,

&…

Something comes over me

I feel this incredible sensation

For You,

it’s a short burst of energy

We embrace,

&…

My mind starts to race

I don’t ever want to let You go

For You,

it’s only the right time & place

We kiss,

&…

It sets my soul on fire

I want You to be mine forever

For You,

it’s only a momentary desire

We lay,

&…

I cannot believe it’s true

It’s everything I’d hoped for

For You,

it’s just something to do

We kiss, (again)

&…

Now it doesn’t feel the same way

I want to talk about it but….

For You,

there’s nothing to say

We embrace, (again)

&…

My heart beats fast

I know that our time is short

For You,

it wasn’t meant to last

We leave,

&...

I tearfully say my goodbye

I can’t wait to see You again but

For You,

it’s all been a lie…

For You,

I gave my all

&…

For You,

I gave my trust

&…

For You,

I gave my heart

&…

In return, You gave me lust…

I think to myself…

“It’s happening again!”

But some things you can’t prevent, &

The Truth is causing the pain…

I say to You…

“What is this thing exactly?

I’m really crazy about You!”

But Your Truth is You don’t want me…

I think to myself…

“It’s all been a lie!”

But the smoking gun is there, &

The Truth is hard to deny…

I say to You

“What exactly do you want?

I’m really feeling You!”

But Your Truth is that You don’t…

I think to myself…

“It’s not my fault this time!”

But the deed has been done, &

The Truth is no longer sublime…

I say to You…

“What can I do to win Your heart?

I’m really serious about You!”

But Your Truth is that we’ve grown apart…

I think to myself…

“It’s going to be over soon!”

But You won’t say anything, &

The Truth has left the room…

Friday, October 28, 2011

Samson's Complex

I've heard tales of the "Samson Complex"...One being that Samson was attracted to that which was meant to destroy him. Got inspired so here it goes...

The Complex…

“Making the mistake I never learned from…”

We always want
What, for us isn’t right
The complex is in full effect….
Seems I always fall for the wrong type…

You had me at hello…
It’s already too late
I’m yours now…
Can this really be my Fate?

What is this strange power you wield?
You have me under your spell
Try as I might to escape
I end up succumbing to your will

Could it be those eyes?

Or possibly it's those lips

Maybe it’s that hair?

Or most definitely those hips

I bet it's your skin

It's such a beautiful hue

It could be your voice

Or is it all of you?

It doesn’t matter what it is...
Cause by the end of the day
The complex has me wrapped up
And I’ll let you have your way….

Sunday, October 23, 2011

R.I.P. S.J.F.

Ahh...nostalgia. I wrote this one in 1996-97. Seems like so long ago. Enjoy...

The Eulogy (R.I.P.)

… who said love never dies…

Here She Lies…

My Former Girlfriend.

Who Would Have Ever Thought,

This Is How It Would End.

I Remember How It Used To Be…

Before She Went Away.

I Loved Her More Than Anything…

Even More Than Words Could Say.

No One Lives Forever…

So I Am Not Sad That She Departed,

But It Is The Way That She Left

Which Gives Me Such Pain And Heartache.

She Wasn’t The Victim Of An Accident

Nor Did She Die From A Gunshot…

So A Clear Reason For Her Death

Is Something I Haven’t Got.

I Believe It Was Another Man,

Who Caused Her Untimely Demise.

This Murderer Wanted Her All To Himself,

And His Identity Was No Surprise.

He Was A Crafty, Scary, And

Sneaky Little Guy…

Who Took My Lover From Me,

And Made Her Love For Me Die.

This Wasn’t A Spur Of The Moment Abduction,

It Was Over A Year In The Making.

He Just Waited And Waited For A Time

When She Would Be Ripe For The Taking.

He Used Treachery And Lies

To Pretend That He Was Her Friend,

Then He Used His Evil Influence…

To Cause Our Relationship To End.

Only I Could See Thru His Plot,

I Could Tell By His Eyes…

But I Could Never Truly Convince Her,

And He Took Her As His Prize.

After He Took Her Away….

And No Matter How Hard I Tried….

I Never Did See Her Again

…Until The Day She Finally Died.

Stranger than fiction...

The Truth…

Life

Sometimes

Seems…

Have

Trouble…

Seeing

The

Truth…

Recognizing

The

Truth…

Uncovering

The

Truth…

Understanding

The

Truth…

Believing

The

Truth…

Telling

The

Truth…

Remembering

The

Truth

Reading

The

Truth…

Hearing

The

Truth…

But

The

Hardest

Thing

All

Is…

ACCEPTING

The

Truth

Saturday, October 15, 2011

For Her...

Kiseki

“Google it..."

I’ve witnessed her tears

Too many for me to count

I’ve seen the hurt in her eyes

It’s an unbearable amount

These emotions are vital

But she’s afraid to let them show

Feelings she tries to conceal

Acting like I don’t already know

A Lack of Visual Empathy

Those words sound so mean

Sometimes it only takes a spark

To melt the heart of an Ice Queen

We sit alone in silence

Staring face to face

Her delicate frame engulfed by mine

Locked in a strong embrace

Looking in her eyes

I imagine her walking away

Makes me wonder at times

How can I make her stay?

Those pretty eyes are crying out

I’ll try to answer their plea

Promising to take away the hurt

By giving her all of me

I’ll persist and endure her pain

If only for a while

And I’d do it over and over again

Just to see her smile…

Unending...

My Motivation

This is dedicated to my many Muses over the years, without any of you I never would have written a line…

I’ve had amazing experiences

Over the course of my life’s journey…

These included several noteworthy Muses

Who became motivation for my poetry…

One was my first love

Used to call her “SJF”

She always played mind games with me

Until that day I up and left

Another one was my best friend

Used to call her “QB”

She was always there when I needed her

But she never desired to be with me

One was my ride or die chick

Used to call her my “Prettygirl”

Thought she was my soul mate

Until that day she shattered my world

Then there was a sweetheart

I used to call her my “Honeybee”

She got past all my defenses

Stung my heart and left me lonely

And then there’s a cynic

Some call her an “Ice Queen”

Although she loves to mock & ridicule everyone

In actuality she isn’t that mean

To be continued….

Just Go With It...

Seems like ages ago when I wrote this one...

Honeybee

“Oftentimes it is best to just go with the flow and live life as it comes…”

There are cracks in the blinds…

Sunlight breaks through…

Today will be no different it seems

I’m officially missing You…

What happened this time?

Words cannot explain…

I’m looking for answers, but

It appears I’m lost again…

Guess our timing was wrong…

Sometimes it turns out that way

We both wanted it so badly…

We pushed fast-forward instead of play

You became so important to me

A pillar in my life…

Skyrocketed to the top of my A-list

Got priority like a potential wife…

Still I wonder why

I felt You were the one for me…

Never thought it would hurt so good

This sting from my Honeybee…

Just hope I’m not allergic….

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The 2nd Choice

The Silver Medal…

"Not everything that glitters is gold..."

Here I am

Back at it again…

Trying to deal

With this feeling of dull pain

You see the fault isn’t mine

This time it’s all on you

I guess what I’m saying

Is that these feelings aren’t new

I’ve felt them before

I just never let on…

Because I tried to do right by us

And do right by your son…

But now it seems

That you don’t care about us

Or even care about your child

It makes Me want to cuss

Makes Me want to act out

And cause a scene…

You see the old Me would do that

And not even blink…

But luckily the new Me is here

And this guy is more mature

He’s older, wiser and smarter

And he knows how to endure

To endure this dull pain

Takes a somewhat superhuman will

It’s not something you can buy from a store

Or ingest from a pill…

You wonder how I can be so calm

And not act a clown?

Well it’s because I know

What’s really going down

You see you’re gonna miss Me

At some point one day…

And when you’ll realize this

It will be much too late…

You see all that glitters isn’t gold

And that other grass isn’t always green….

And this Silver Medal will still shine

With a sparkling sheen…