The Maniacal Ravings of a Desperate Man...: August 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011

…fRaCtUrEd…

…fRaCtUrEd…

I never thought

This day would come…

Always thought that our love was real

And would never be over and done.

But here I am

Wondering what the hell…

What did I do so wrong?

Maybe time will tell…

You say “There is nothing wrong…”

Yet your demeanor suggests otherwise

I cannot read your mind

But something tells me, those words are lies.

So what can I do to fix us?

Nothing it seems…

It’s as if the only time we are good

Is when I dream

When I can sleep

And those nights are rare…

If I dream about us

It turns into a nightmare

One full of arguments

And days of silent attacks

You see you can’t resolve anything

When someone won’t talk back

So when words fail me

I have no recourse

But to hope for the best…

And plan for the worst…

You don’t understand how it feels

To be left all alone in the dark

You see I didn’t write this script

I’m just playing my part….

Friday, August 19, 2011

Ha Ha...

Don’t Make Me Laugh

U could have had it all,

Now that chance is GONE.

And now u want to get with me,

Because u knew that u were wrong.

Together we would have been all that,

& then some…

But when i wanted to give u my love,

U said u wanted none.

U put me down…

For a boy u thought to be a king.

& now u want a relationship?

That’s one road I’m not taking!

Now, since he dogged u out,

U want to be more than my friend.

But this opportunity quit knocking

The 1^st time, when u didn’t let it in.

Do u really want to be with me???

Well ur timing is bad…

Because u are making a fool of urself

…and u are only making me laugh!!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Epistle...

The Epistle

As I write these stanzas

You may think I’m insane

So instead of “Dear John”

I’ll start off “Dear Jane”

I write this letter

Please read it with care

But I can no longer abide by

The feelings we used to share

I gave you my heart

And You took it and ran

And when I asked You for Yours

You gave it to another man

So I’m moving on

No longer confused

I don’t have to take this anymore

I’m sick of the abuse

You tormented me long enough

And like a man I took it

But no longer will You manipulate me

I’m done with Your bull shit

So by now I’m sure

You’ve noticed my stuff is gone

And I’ve left You forever

So You two can be alone.

Don’t expect me to come back

No matter how hard You plead

I won’t be Your plaything

You are not what I need.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Tears...

Teardrops

Just a few teardrops

Only a few I will shed

Because of all the times we’ve shared

And all the times my heart has bled

Not many teardrops shall descend

But a few may fall

So many of my emotions were crushed

It’s hard to remember them all.

Friday, August 12, 2011

G.T.D...

G.T.D.

Sometimes love can hurt so good...

Damn girl slow your roll

Tonight the mission again unfolds

It’s Your body I want to hold

Look at what You’ve done to me

I’m missing You like crazy

Staring at the spot where You used to be

Everywhere in this room

Your residual essence blooms

It’s the air Your scent consumes

Your image is inside my head

What else could I think of instead?

There’s still evidence of You in my bed

I know we all have flaws,

Yours have caused me scars

Damn… should have never Got Those Draws!

Copyright © GL21 01/18/2011

Redemption...

I wrote this for a friend who was going through some tough times....

Redemption

"Eventually water finds its level..." - M. Brown

You did this to me…

It’s all Your fault

I used to keep my feelings bottled up

Locked deep inside my heart

You made me do the unthinkable

Made me go places I’ve never been

It hurt me so much…

It drove me to the arms of Your friend

You cut me so deep

You were never emotionally there

The trust is gone for us

And it’s like You don’t even care

You want it to go back

To the way things used to be

But I never enjoyed those times

They weren’t pleasant memories

You lost me back then

No longer having my trust

I used to hope for You to change

But you were never serious about us

You still mean something to me

And I don’t know why You do

I loved You with my all

But Your love was never true

I don’t need this anymore

You see I’m doing just fine

You wanted what You wanted then…

And I got over You with time

Sunday, August 7, 2011

When Time Flies...

When Time Flies...

Is it just me?

Or does it happen to everyone?

It seems like time flies...

Right when I begin to have fun.

But if I’m not having fun...

Time seems to stand still.

And prolong my boredom

Often, against my will.

Time always flies,

When I am around You...

Sometimes I daydream about us,

And I hope that You are too.

Time never flies...

When You are not around,

I'm happy when You are with me

And when You aren't I feel down.

I always feel this way

And I don't know why I do,

Maybe it is because I wonder...

If time flies for You too…

Saturday, August 6, 2011

...and

Here's one of my favorites from last year...

We touch,

&…

Something comes over me

I feel this incredible sensation

For You,

it’s a short burst of energy

We embrace,

&…

My mind starts to race

I don’t ever want to let You go

For You,

it’s only the right time & place

We kiss,

&…

It sets my soul on fire

I want You to be mine forever

For You,

it’s only a momentary desire

We lay,

&…

I cannot believe it’s true

It’s everything I’d hoped for

For You,

it’s just something to do

We kiss, (again)

&…

Now it doesn’t feel the same way

I want to talk about it but….

For You,

there’s nothing to say

We embrace, (again)

&…

My heart beats fast

I know that our time is short

For You,

it wasn’t meant to last

We leave,

&...

I tearfully say my goodbye

I can’t wait to see You again but

For You,

it’s all been a lie…

For You,

I gave my all

&…

For You,

I gave my trust

&…

For You,

I gave my heart

&…

In return,

You gave me lust…

Chaos Theory

The Butterfly Effect

“You never know what moment will be the moment that changes everything…”

I was up late last night…

Deleting pictures of you

Never for once thought...

That would be something I’d ever do

Knowing I cannot change the past

Sometimes I sit and reflect

But even if I rewind my life

The changes I make I could regret

Destiny cannot be avoided

It can only be deferred

We hope to change it sometimes

By wishing some things hadn’t occurred

Oh how my life could be different

Of this I’d place many a bet…

Like if I had gone to class

Instead of skipping it the day we met…

What if I wouldn’t have gone out with friends

And met you at the mall….

What if I wouldn’t have had the nerve

To make that initial phone call…

What if you hadn’t pulled away

The first time we almost kissed…

What if I didn’t see that sign from you

The one that I almost missed…

What if I would have been home

That day you finally decided to stop by…

What if I had given up on you

That last time when you didn’t reply…

What if you had said yes

When I asked you to be mine…

What if I hadn’t said I love you

That night we almost crossed the line…

What if you had weighed your options

Before making a rash decision…

What if you were willing to try

And I wasn’t willing to listen…

What if you didn’t hurt me

And continue to break my heart…

What if last weekend never happened

And we didn’t drift apart…

Questions will always arise

We can’t always foresee what’s next

Never knowing our lifeline could hinge

On a choice we didn’t expect

Ultimately we continue forward

Unsure of what this life will bring…

Amazed how one small decision

Can change everything…

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dead & Gone...

The Old Me

The old me…

That guy was very immature

Caught up in himself

Anger was always second nature

The old me….

That guy was always mad

Believed the world was against him

Ready to prove that he was so bad

The old me…

That guy used to run amuck

Would snap in a minute

Just didn’t give a f**k

The old me…

That guy had a hard time letting go of the past

Wouldn’t forget if you crossed him

Never had relationships that could last

The old me…

That guy couldn’t talk things out

Always beating a dead horse

Wanting to let you know what he’s about

The old me…

That guy couldn’t thank God for his grace

Never counted his many blessings

Even when they stared him in the face

The old me…

That guy sometimes tries to emerge

But the old me is dead and gone

Cause the new me has him submerged

It seems everyday something tries

To resurrect the old me

But heed my warning

That guy is someone you don’t want to see….