Almost...

inFAMOUS

“The reports of my utter demise have been greatly exaggerated…”

It’s amazing sometimes

We try to change our predisposition

But the core of a person never changes

It’s set from our inception

I walk through the crowd

Hearing whispers from afar

There he is they say

He’s the one with the terrible scar

Heard them speak about

My life’s strange journey

All of the BS I’ve been through

Is just a blur to me

I don’t expect them to understand

Or even to comprehend my struggle

The smile I flash is a ruse

Just masking the emotions I juggle

The fiction is unbelievable

But my truth is even worse

The stories I could recount

Would spawn an epic verse

I have to stand strong

For myself and my future life

Enjoy the time I have left

And not endure more strife

Not all wounds are visible

Sometimes we keep them concealed

It’s better to keep them that way

Cause pain comes when they are revealed

So I’ll continue to live

In spite of all that’s occurred

Refusing to be a victim

By living a life that’s deferred…

Copyright © GL21 2014

No Strings...

No Strings

I can't believe it
Words truly can't convey...
The shock of this moment
Got me feeling some type of way...

How did I allow this
It's not my fault this time...
You got caught up in the moment
Told you not to cross that line...

I knew I wasn't ready
But you were so insistent...
The attraction between us I can't deny
My psyche just wasn't that resistant...

Now you've gotta deal
With this creature you just had to unleash...
I told you that I'm quite intense
And now you must contend with the beast...

Made me go there
Told you I go oh so hard in the paint...
Now you're being dismissive
But a one night stand this ain't...

You touched my body
And I bore my soul...
Tried to leave before I awoke
See, now that's just getting old...

Can't have it both ways
We're doomed to fail it seems...
No matter how hard we try
Just Can't walk away without strings...

Copyright © GL21 2014

The Upgrade (Part 1)

Downgraded

Verb: To reduce to a lower grade, rank, or level of importance

 How have you been?
I haven’t seen you since last fall
Didn’t expect to run into you
And I haven’t missed you at all

Heard you’ve been through

Some events that have been trying

But no I don’t keep tabs on you

If that’s what you are implying

You seem to be going backwards

Thought you had come up for real

Didn’t think you’d look like this

Honestly what’s the deal?

Did your scheme not pan out?

Did he drop you like a dime?

Did he just up and bounce?

Like you did to me that time?

Was the sex not good enough?

I thought you had the bomb?

Is the honeymoon phase over?

Well at least you had a good run

Don’t mean to sound rude

But there’s something I gotta know

Did he finally find out…

That you used to be a ho?

So sorry if that sounded cruel

My curiosity got the best of me

You just seem so dejected

Please accept my apology

Didn’t mean to intrude

Why do you look so sad?

Here let me buy you a drink

You see it isn’t that bad…

Copyright © GL21 2013

Crushin'

Heartbeat

"This is more than a crush...:

There’s a pounding in my chest,

Got a lump in my throat

Cannot get you out of my head

Feels like I missed the boat

Saw you in the hallway…

And my heart skipped a beat

Felt like a silly schoolgirl

And you caught me trying to peep

I wonder where you are sometimes

If you are alone or with your boo

Can’t help having these thoughts

Actually, daydreams starring you

You have such a kind heart

And a sweet spirit to match

It’s so unfortunate for me

That you’re otherwise attached

I often get choked up

These emotions I have to hold in…

‘Cause I know you can’t be mine

So I’ll force a frown into a grin…

You see I really didn’t want to smile

But what else could I do

There wasn’t a chance for us in this lifetime

Nor in this world, well maybe on Earth-2

Copyright © GL21  11/26/2012 

Y.O.L.O

Wrote this for someone very close to me who was going through some things.... 

#YOLO

“Twice as bright, half as long…”

 Take a good look

But don’t stare too long

I wanted to give you a final glance

At the person you did so wrong

Don’t try to speak

Words aren’t needed today

I’d never forgive your transgressions

There’s nothing left to say

Should have kept it 100

You had so many chances

Yet you squandered them all

By chasing multiple romances

You started catching feelings

And then you got scared

Ran back to your ex

Cause you thought they really cared

You don’t see it now

But time will reveal it

Exes are exes for a reason

Once you remember their bullshit

Funny how we think

We can have it in between…

You tried burning the candle at both ends

But it doesn’t last as long it seems…

I refused to be 2^nd place

Creeping in the dark like an apparition

Well this phantom is out of the shadows

After you made a whack decision

You tried not to burn this bridge

By running a weak ass game

But now You Officially Lost Out

Damn…what a shame

Copyright 2013© GL21

Milestones

Still Standing...

"You shouldn't ask questions you really don't want the answers to..."


Today is my Pearl Harbor, 9/11, day that will live in infamy etc... However I must take the time to reflect on the past 3 years of my life. When I think of the person I was 3 years ago on this day I shudder. I can't believe how much I've changed.  I believe this change was for the better. I used to be so constrained, so confused. I was in bondage and didn't know it. I was being played for the fool and didn't know it. I've affectionately described this as being in the Matrix.  However I decided on this day to take the red pill  instead of the blue one.  And after making that choice, my life fundamentally changed.

Oftentimes we have these choices to make. I call them Life Changing Events (LCEs). Once you have a LCE you have two choices. You can let it defeat you and keep you down, or you can let it galvanize you and propel you to make the hard choices that put you out of your comfort zone.  My advice is simple. Don't harp on the bad things.  Allow yourself time to grieve, heal and to recover.  Things happen for a reason. Everything has purpose and meaning.  Allow yourself to go with the flow.

Sometimes we try to hold on to those things that aren't worth the trouble.   We fall into a rut and  would rather deal with less than we deserve just because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone and fear of what others think. Don't allow yourself to fall victim to fear.  One thing I've learned is that once you face your greatest fear, you have nothing left to fear. You will feel so empowered and nothing will scare you again.

When you are able to tap into that inner strength and use it you will surprise yourself. You will be amazed at how much simpler everything becomes. Things just work out and you will be all the better for it. Remember when one door closes another one opens. We do not have to just accept the things that happen to us. We all have reason and purpose for being here. When you realize this you will be so much happier.  Remember..

We don't always change the world sometimes it changes us. And oftentimes the changes are for the better. We just have to be open and willing to accept the changes. However, most times change isn't easy...

I'm done... I'm never going to revisit this day again as a tragic event. From now on I'll view it as an emancipation. Better yet a new beginning. This process has been my trial by fire... This day shall forever be remembered as the day the old me died and the new me rose from the ashes anew.

My future has never been brighter, my will is stronger than ever, and the past is and shall remain just that...THE PAST. I'm good with the person I've become. So I'll say it again. I'm done with the dreadful memories this day represents.  Enjoy life, love those who are close to you. Don't waste time on those who do not. Step out on faith and take a chance once in awhile.

I'm so over it. Maybe next year I'll throw a party to celebrate...

Long Term Sub

The Surrogate

“I’m no hero… never was…never will be…” –Solid Snake MS4

What becomes of a man

Who get stripped of his role?

Didn’t know I was a stand in

I wasn’t even told…

It was all a lie…

An evil plot it seemed

The worst type of deception

A long nightmarish dream

I was sold snake oil

Setup to be something I was not

Was told it would all work out

Such a fiendish plot

It was carefully designed

Such an uncomplicated plan

The tricky part was finding

A very ignorant man

So then I was profiled

It was so easy to start

This was only because

I looked perfectly for the part

You see I fit the bill

Was so easy to deceive the world

Would have worked even better

If she had borne a girl

But DNA didn’t pass

And a female child didn’t materialize

Could have been validation

But that wasn’t the surprise…

You never wanted the first one

You just needed a pawn

Someone to stand guard for you

While you danced til dawn

And I did just that

A perfect patsy for awhile

But look at me now

Freedom makes me smile

Thought it was permanent but

Was only a long term sub…

Who lost many youthful years of life,

And therein lies the Rub…

Copyright © GL21 6/16/2013